


I Won't Say (I'm in Love)

by protectginozasquad



Series: Mostly Kuroo Pining: Kurodai Week 2020 [1]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: 5+1 Things, Alternate Universe - College/University, KuroDai Week 2020, M/M, and they were ROOMMATES, day 2: night
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-07
Updated: 2020-05-07
Packaged: 2021-03-03 02:15:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,303
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24057349
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/protectginozasquad/pseuds/protectginozasquad
Summary: Five times Kuroo Tetsurou almost gives himself away, and one time Sawamura Daichi does.
Relationships: Kuroo Tetsurou/Sawamura Daichi
Series: Mostly Kuroo Pining: Kurodai Week 2020 [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1735549
Comments: 23
Kudos: 206
Collections: KuroDai Week 2020





	I Won't Say (I'm in Love)

**Author's Note:**

> HAPPY KURODAI WEEK!!!!!!!!

I. 

It’s always the nighttime that does him in. 

Kuroo can handle almost all aspects of being Sawamura Daichi’s roommate. He can handle eating dinner together, sharing a tiny kitchen that leaves absolutely no room for personal space and forces them to bump shoulders and elbows constantly, he can even handle sleepy, pre-coffee Sawamura Daichi, whose soft, always confused morning face is absolutely adorable. 

Kuroo has a problem. A really big problem. 

He never should have agreed to this in the first place. 

After a year at university together, Sawamura had asked him about being roommates. He was ready for more freedom than living on campus could offer him, but he didn’t want to room with a stranger. They had some gen ed classes together and played on the intramural volleyball team together. They spent quite enough time together as it was. 

But Kuroo had been greedy, and it’s going to be his undoing. 

Kuroo Tetsurou has been in love with Sawamura Daichi for longer than he cares to calculate. 

Maybe it was back in high school, that firm rival’s handshake and the easy, lazy teasing smiles that passed between them. Maybe it was the experience of getting to be on the same side of the net for once, teamwork flowing between them so seamlessly people often asked if they came from the same high school. 

But it doesn’t really matter when it started. 

“Hey, Sawamura, you look like you’re about to fall asleep there,” Kuroo hears himself say as he leans in the doorway to Daichi’s bedroom. 

Daichi jerks up from his homework, eyes snapping open. He probably was about to fall asleep. 

“Ah,” he scratches the back of his neck, flushing as though embarrassed to be caught sleeping on the job. “I guess I’m a little tired.” 

“You’ve been at it for hours,” Kuroo says, coming into Daichi’s room and sitting on his bed. 

“Yeah, maybe I should call it a night,” Daichi says before yawning long and loud, stretching both arms overhead so Kuroo can just barely see a strip of skin above Daichi’s sweatpants - he catches himself, takes a big sip of the water he’s holding to steady himself. 

“With a yawn like that, I’d say so.” 

Daichi tilts his head, smiles softly at Kuroo. Kuroo feels like he might melt, right then and there. 

“Since when did you start taking care of me? I thought that was my job,” he says, eyes crinkling around the corners. 

It’s the nighttime faces. They’re so honest and genuine and real and Kuroo isn’t sure how much more of this he can take. He short-circuits and forgets how to speak. 

“Have some ice cream with me before I call it?” 

Kuroo grins. “Only if I can eat it out of the carton.” 

“Ew,” Daichi scrunches up his nose. “No, you will eat out of a bowl like a proper human being.” 

“See, Sawamura, you are the one who takes care of me. What would I do without you?” 

Kuroo feels his heart squirm as he says it. It’s just a joke, right? 

But it doesn’t have to be. As he follows Daichi into the kitchen, watches him spoon ice cream into bowls, Kuroo thinks briefly that he could do it. Tonight could be the night. 

“You feeling okay?” Daichi asks him as he hands him the bowl of ice cream. 

Kuroo thinks about it, and then decides he’s still just a coward. 

“Aw, are you worried about me?” He says with a smirk, pinching Daichi’s cheek and laughing like it doesn’t mean anything, because it doesn’t. 

“Never mind,” Daichi rolls his eyes, wrestling his face out of Kuroo’s grasp. 

No, it doesn’t mean anything. 

II. 

“Bro, you’re killing yourself.” 

Kuroo nurses his second beer of the night, groaning as he lays his head on the table in front of Bokuto. 

“I know,” he whines. “I can hardly stand it. He’s just so cute.” 

“Just talk to him. I bet you’ll be surprised.” 

“Absolutely not!” Kuroo’s head shoots up from the table. “I will do no such thing. There is no way he feels the same way, and I am not risking this relationship for something as stupid as feelings.” 

“C’mon, you’re miserable,” Bokuto pokes him. 

The color drains from Kuroo’s face as someone familiar catches his eye. 

“Did I hear Kuroo Tetsurou say the word ‘feelings’?” Daichi sidles up to their table, holding a beer of his own. 

“Sawamura,” it comes out higher pitched than Kuroo means it to. 

“You look like you’re thinking something over,” Daichi says meaningfully. 

“Well, join us!” Bokuto says, grinning wickedly at Kuroo. Kuroo kicks him under the table. 

“I couldn’t-” 

“Nonsense!” Bokuto grabs Daichi’s arm and practically shoves him into the booth next to Kuroo. It shouldn’t feel this tense or awkward. They drink beer around the apartment sometimes, and Kuroo isn’t tipsy enough to do anything stupid. He hopes. He flicks his eyes over to Bokuto, who is still grinning ear to ear. Kuroo doesn’t trust Bokuto any farther than he can throw him. 

“So what are you doing here on this fine evening, Sawamura?” Bokuto supplies when Kuroo finds himself at a loss for words. 

“Oh, you know, just wanted a drink before heading back home.” 

“Home, of course,” Bokuto says, raising an eyebrow pointedly. “How is the ol’ apartment these days? Living with this dufus,” he points at Kuroo, “Must be a total chore.” 

Daichi laughs, and Kuroo feels that familiar drop in his stomach that’s all too frequent these days. 

“It’s not so bad,” Daichi says, giving Kuroo a sideways look. “I mean, he’s tolerable most of the time.” 

“Rude, Sawamura!” Kuroo finally manages to speak again, and takes on an indignant tone. 

“So what’s going on?” Daichi asks. 

“W-what do you mean?” Kuroo finds the high note edging its way back into his voice. 

“I didn’t mean to eavesdrop, but you need to talk to someone?” 

“I think that’s my cue,” Bokuto says, grabbing his coat and standing up. Kuroo glares at him. _Traitor._

“Don’t leave on my account!” 

“Nah, I just gotta head back to my dorm and work on something. School night and all. You two don’t party too hard on a school night!” 

“Alright, if you say so,” Daichi says, turning back to Kuroo. “He’s right, you know. We should head back to the apartment. If you’re, you know, finished with that,” he gestures to Kuroo’s mostly-empty beer. 

“Okay, dad,” Kuroo replies, downing the rest of his beer. 

Daichi rolls his eyes and motions for the server. 

The bar isn’t far from their apartment, and the evening air is pleasant. They’re heading into spring, so it’s not too cold, but still cool enough for a jacket. Kuroo thinks that Daichi looks illegal in his easy jeans and hoodie combo. How could a person make something so casual look so good? The streetlights bounce off Daichi’s face, illuminating him. 

It’s always the nighttime when Kuroo starts to lose it. 

“You know you can talk to me about anything, right?” Daichi says. 

“I…” Kuroo almost says it. I love you. The words almost make it out of his throat before he stuffs his heart back in his chest, where it belongs. 

“I know that,” Kuroo messes up Daichi’s hair. “Of course I know that,” he pauses. “But sometimes I gotta consult a bro, that’s all!” 

“I’m not a bro?” 

“No!” Kuroo yelps, then clears his throat awkwardly. “I mean, Bo’s just… uh, never mind.” 

Daichi shrugs. 

“Whatever, nerd. Did you have anything to eat with your beer?”

“Gonna make me dinner, Sawamura?” 

“I was going to, but now I’m rethinking it.” 

“I’ll be nice! Pleeeeeease, make me dinner, Sawamuraaaaa,” he whines. Kuroo likes it when Daichi takes care of him. 

Even though it doesn’t mean anything. It can’t. He’s sure of it. 

III. 

The next time Kuroo almost loses it in front of Daichi also happens to involve some alcohol. 

“I’ve told you a million times, parties are stupid,” Daichi says, exasperated. 

“And I’ve told you,” Kuroo pokes Daichi in the chest. “A million times, you need to lighten up.” 

“I’m perfectly well-adjusted, Kuroo,” Daichi glares, although he continues pulling on a jacket and putting his shoes on, because he has agreed to go. 

“That’s the problem,” Kuroo rolls his eyes. “You’re too well-adjusted. You need to live a little! You only go to university once! Besides, it’s just a house party.” 

“A house party that Bokuto helped organize.” 

“You’re not wrong,” Kuroo says, nodding. “But my point remains.” 

“I’m doing this for you,” Daichi says. 

“Aw, Sawamura, you care so much~” Kuroo teases. 

“Shut up. I just need to make sure you don’t do anything stupid and come home plastered.” 

Kuroo grins, despite knowing this is probably a horrible idea. Getting drunk in front of Daichi is definitely not on the top of his list of Smart Things For Kuroo To Do, but what the hell. 

So they find themselves at a house party on a Friday night, Kuroo throwing back the free booze more quickly than he should. 

“You never drink this much,” Daichi is frowning at him as he finishes his third tequila shot. 

“Live a little Sa’amura!” Kuroo says, vaguely aware that he’s starting to slur his words. 

“Brooooo,” Bokuto comes up to him. “That’s awesome. I wanna do one!” 

“Kuroo has had three tequila shots already.” 

“And you know what they say about tequila,” Kuroo hears himself say, feels himself wink at Daichi. That’s not good. The alcohol is starting to betray him. 

“No, I don’t think I do,” Daichi deadpans. 

“It makes my clothes fall off!” Kuroo erupts into drunken laughter, finds himself leaning up against Daichi - way too close - and there’s nothing he can do to stop it. He tries not to notice that Daichi doesn’t shove him away or push him off, but sighs, a little long-suffering, and maybe, just maybe, a little bit fond. Of course, Kuroo could be imagining the whole thing. 

A few hours, several more frowns from Daichi, and another couple shots later, Kuroo is having the time of his life. Not because he’s drinking, but because of the way Daichi is watching over him like a hawk. It feels good to be paid attention to like this, even if it’s more of an older brother thing than anything else (Kuroo is sure of that). But as always, like the greedy asshole he is, Kuroo will take what he can get. 

“We’re going,” Daichi plucks the red solo cup out of Kuroo fingers. 

“Aw,” Kuroo whines without much conviction. 

“No complaints,” Daichi says, although in Kuroo’s drunken haze, he swears he can see a ghost of a smile tugging at his lips. He gives Kuroo that soft, sleepy look. 

“Aw, you tired, Sawaaamuraaa?” It isn’t fair. The sleepy faces are way too much for him to handle. 

“As a matter of fact I am, but I don’t trust you to get home on your own, so it’s time to say goodbye.” 

“Later everyone!” Kuroo screams to no one in particular. 

“That’s not exactly what I meant,” Daichi says, a real smile now pulling at his lips. 

As they walk home, Kuroo knows he is leaning on Daichi too heavily. 

_Don’t say it._

_Don’t say it._

_Don’t say it._

It has been his mantra all night. His promise to himself in attending the party. Under no circumstances would stupid words about being in love with Sawamura Daichi make their way out of his mouth. 

“You okay? You’re unusually quiet,” Daichi gives Kuroo a sideways look. 

“Right as rain!” Kuroo salutes him, his mantra running through his alcohol addled brain. 

_DON’T SAY IT._

“If you say so. You’re drinking five glasses of water before we go to bed.” 

“That’s too much!” Kuroo yelps. 

“I have work study in the morning, so we have to mitigate your hangover as much as possible now. That means water.” 

Kuroo sighs. Just once, Daichi could have the decency not to take care of him. It makes Kuroo’s predicament remarkably tougher. 

But he makes it all the way through the night (and through all five glasses of water) without saying it. Barely.

He almost says it when Daichi runs a hand through his hair affectionately before closing Kuroo’s door with a soft, “Night, Kuroo.”

“G’night,” Kuroo whispers. 

IV. 

“You’re a pal, Sawamura,” Kuroo says, rolling over in his bed and groaning. 

“The whole point of me coming along was to make sure this didn’t happen, so I’m not sure how much of a pal I actually am,” Daichi replies, sighing heavily. 

Kuroo’s next opportunity to ruin his relationship with his roommate comes with his hangover the following morning, which awakens him with a pounding headache at an obscene hour. Daichi is already up, getting ready for his work study job. 

“It’s not your fault I did tequila shots with Bokuto,” Kuroo says. 

“After doing three on your own,” Daichi points out helpfully. 

“Ugh,” Kuroo groans again, pulling a pillow up over his head. 

“Water,” Daichi commands, pulling the pillow off of Kuroo’s head and shoving a glass of water at him. 

“I’ve had so much water,” Kuroo whines. 

“No, you’ve had exactly one glass. You’re dehydrated. Here, take some ibuprofen too,” Sawamura hands Kuroo the glass of water and drops three red pills in Kuroo’s open palm. 

Okay, so maybe Kuroo has overdone it a little bit. Maybe he has what might be the worst hangover of his life. 

But he managed to be drunk in front of Daichi, flirt with him (a teensy bit), and didn’t spill his guts. Kuroo would say he did an excellent job. 

“You need to get some food in your system, too,” Daichi gets up from Kuroo’s bed and heads towards the kitchen. 

Kuroo’s stomach feels like it’s going to revolt. 

“But, Sawamura, I’m not hungry-” 

“No buts,” Daichi calls. “You’re eating and that’s that.” 

“God, could you stop being perfect for five seconds?” Kuroo moans into his pillow. 

“What?” Daichi sticks his head back in the room. Apparently he had not made it as far as Kuroo had thought. 

“Nothing!” Kuroo practically screams, pulling the blankets up over his head. _God, you fucking moron._

Daichi seems satisfied with Kuroo’s high-pitched answer and pads back towards the kitchen. Not long after, the smell of breakfast wafts back towards Kuroo’s room. 

Okay, maybe breakfast doesn’t sound that bad. Not if it’s made by Daichi. 

It must be getting worse, because now the morning is dangerous for him, too. Kuroo groans, and this time, it has nothing to do with his hangover. 

V. 

Kuroo manages to keep his wits about him for the next week or so. 

But then he and Daichi have a late-night study session, and the tired, gentle look on Daichi’s face threatens to swallow any sense of resolve he has whole. 

Kuroo taps his pencil against his worksheet, flipping around in his textbook for an answer that feels inscrutable. 

“Have you started the second section of the worksheet yet?” Daichi asks, leaning over to look at Kuroo’s textbook. He’s so close that Kuroo can see the dip of his collar, feel warmth coming from him. It’s entirely too much. 

“Uh,” Kuroo’s brain manages to catch up. They’re in the same chemistry class, and Kuroo feels a bit triumphant, because he’s finally discovered something to tease Daichi about. Daichi isn’t exactly miserable at chemistry, but Kuroo clearly has a better handle on it. 

“You know, this part?” Daichi pulls away to grab his own sheet and shoves it in Kuroo’s face. 

“Ah, chemical bonding,” Kuroo manages to focus on the task at hand. “Need some help with your covalent bonds, Sawamura?” He unintentionally waggles his eyebrows. _Stop flirting. Stop it._

Daichi rolls his eyes. “Please, speak a language I can understand.” 

“That’s basic chemistry vocabulary, Sawamura.” 

Daichi groans and puts his head in his hands. “It’s hopeless. I’m going to flunk.” 

“Hey now,” Kuroo’s posture softens. He hates to see Daichi down on himself. “It’s gonna be okay.”

“I’m so lousy at it.”

“I don’t think you’re capable of being lousy at something,” it’s out of Kuroo’s mouth before he can stop him. He thinks he’s totally blown it, but Daichi just tilts his head to the side, and giggles. 

“How nice,” he says in his deep voice. “Who knew you were so-”

“I’m always this kind,” Kuroo recovers by smirking. “C’mon, flip back in the textbook a few pages. I’ll explain it to you. No flunking Sawamura’s on my watch.”

\+ I. 

Movie night is the worst. Watching Daichi munch through movie snacks is hard enough, coupled with the fact that more often than not, Daichi actually falls asleep on top of Kuroo… Kuroo’s not sure his blood pressure can take much more of it. 

Unfortunately for him, it’s something of a tradition. It doesn’t happen every weekend, but if neither of them have plans, they’ll usually settle in on a Saturday night for a movie. 

(Kuroo loves it. But it is killing him.) 

Kuroo tries to pay attention to the movie, he really does. He doesn’t realize he’s staring at Daichi until it’s too late. 

“Is there something on my face?” 

“W-what?!” Kuroo flushes. He’s been caught. 

“Did I get something on my face?” 

“N-no, your face is great - I mean fine, it looks fine.” 

Daichi quirks an eyebrow and opens his mouth like he’s going to say something, but thinks better of it and turns back to the movie. Kuroo notices that he’s acting weird throughout the movie. A little jumpier than usual. 

“Geez, have you never seen this before or something?” He finally asks. 

“I, no-” 

His question is poorly-timed, and something explodes on screen. Daichi gasps, and Kuroo feels like he’s touched an electric fence because a jolt moves through him as he feels Daichi interlace their fingers and squeeze Kuroo’s hands tightly. 

“You okay?” He squeaks out. 

Daichi looks down and apparently seems to realize that he’s holding Kuroo’s hand. Kuroo’s heart, for its part, has gone into complete overdrive. 

“Oh my god, Kuroo, I’m so sorry,” Daichi’s face is bright red. “I didn’t mean to-” 

“Didn’t mean to…?” Kuroo asks, incredulous. 

“I mean, uh, shit,” Daichi hangs his head. “So now you know I guess.” 

“Now I know?” Kuroo repeats dumbly. His brain can’t process anything, especially because they’re still holding hands and that by itself has taken over his entire brain. 

“Oh,” Daichi looks down at their hands. “Sorry,” he shakily lets go of Kuroo’s hand. 

“Sorry?” 

“Will you stop repeating everything I say?!” 

“Sawamura, does this mean-” 

“Yes, I like you, you big stupid jerk. Why are you smiling like that?” 

Kuroo’s face has obviously split into a giant grin as his heart leaps into his throat. 

No way. 

“Say something!” Daichi demands. 

Instead, Kuroo leans forward and captures Daichi’s lips. Daichi makes a momentary squeak as Kuroo pulls him in, but quickly sighs into the kiss, bringing both hands up to cup Kuroo’s cheeks and run his thumbs gently over his face. God, he’s so _gentle_ and _soft_ and Kuroo thinks he might never recover. 

“You still haven’t said anything,” Daichi says, frowning slightly when they pull apart, although the frown seems entirely insincere, as Daichi’s entire face is flushed. 

_Just say it back. I like you. You can do it._

“I love you.” 

Kuroo’s eyes widen as he realizes what he’s gone and done. “I m-mean,” he stammers. “I like you too!” 

But Daichi is smiling, too, in the soft, gentle way he’s always looked at Kuroo and Kuroo is just starting to get it through his head that yes, it’s meant something all along. 

“Well thank goodness,” Daichi says before leaning in to kiss Kuroo again. 

“I love you too,” Daichi says when they finally pull back.


End file.
